Driving to work this morning, I was reminded of something very important: I hate when people show me their ass crack. I'm pretty sure they don't know they're showing it to me specifically, or how much I despise it, because ass-crack-exhibitionists are usually oblivious to the fact that said crack is hanging out. Don't you feel the breeze on your asshole, asshole? Chances are, it's because your pants are hanging too low and you've just made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Sorry... I couldn't resist. I've always been a "Just Say No" gal!

And is it just in my town, or is it always always always some big, fat, hairy dude who seems to forget his fucking belt every day? Or some chick whose jeans are four sizes too small? My metal-head friend and I went to a concert a few months ago - it was one of those concerts that attracts a lot of...how shall I say... "the more fashionably un-conscience." Lots of big hair, too-tight jeans and general dirt-baggy behavior. A great venue for people watching... and that's when I saw it... A rather chunky young girl - teenager probably (thankfully I wasn't that close) - who was wearing what may have been size 4 jeans on a size 12 body. Low rise, tight and they pretty much cut right across the middle of her ass. And with her too-short top not quite meeting the top of the jeans, it made for quite the butt crack disaster.

My thought exactly...

Fast forward to this morning... I'm driving to work, late because I had to have an iced coffee in order to even contemplate surviving the day... and I see a cute doggy on the sidewalk. Being a dog lover, I always have to check out the pup and of course, the owner. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. I looked over just in time to see the quite overweight, and of course hairy, older man bend over to do a little poopy scooping and was greeted with a large portion of his pooper. Not pretty. At all. And to make it worse, his dirty t-shirt barely covered his big beer belly. Why don't I learn and just keep my eyes on the fucking road? If only I hadn't stopped for that coffee, I would have missed that crack-tastrophe.

See? Worse things could've happened to dirty-t-shirt-guy's dog...

Tell me...why can't it ever be some extremely fuckhawt dude who's ass you want to see? I'll tell you why: because those bastids never forget their belt! And I think they know we want to see their bums so they keep them covered up just to spite us. But correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but I think we might just see RPattz's crack in Bel Ami... at least according to him, there's a lot of footage of his crack... if it doesn't end up in the movie, I'll be dumpster-diving at the studio to find the junk that landed on the cutting room floor! Oh, don't judge me... I know you h00rs will be right there with me!

Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus!

Alle Bilder zum Schutz vor unserösen Abmahnern entfernt!

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