I want to show you something...

So you know you've thought about it... And now you, too, can have your very own vampsicle vampire dildo!!!

Thanks to VitaminR70 for bringing this to our attention! According to her, it's all over Facebook, but Facebook brings out my inner technophobe like nothing else on the planet, so I had been unaware of it's existence until last night... And in a remarkable (even for me!) and completely breathtaking display of poor judgment, I decided to write about it right here from the comfort of my office. Woo-hoo! Next stop: the unemployment line! All aboard!!! But it had to be done...

Want to see my cold, hard, sparkle-peen? Yes, you do.

Here's all the info from the website where you can pre-order this if you dare [you HAVE to read all the Twilight-y references! Although I have no frigging clue what Halloween has to do with anything unless you going to a nudist costume party and want to get creative...]:

Updated by popular request... Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.

The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.

The Vamp is a web only exclusive offering through TantusInc.com for $39.99. We are currently taking pre-orders for this one of a kind toy. We will be shipping them first come first serve starting 9/1/09. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today.

You can bleach it! Boil it! Run it through the dishwasher! [ok I admit I have a problem with that last one... Sex toys and dinner plates shouldn't mix imho...] Plus it's phfh-something-free!! Er, according to the video below... I have absolutely no idea what that is but I am assuming you don't want it in your hoo-hoo.

Need a little eye candy while playing with your new sparkle-toy??? They have suggestions! Of course, I might suggest a few choice YouTube videos, your Twilight DVD, and maybe a copy of GQ, but that's me...

Tantus suggests the following movies if you enjoy The Vamp. Talk about Expert Advice!

• The Lost Boys
• Fright Night 1 and 2
• Twilight
• Interview with the Vampire
• Bram Stoker's Dracula
• True Blood TV Series
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Series
• Angel TV Series

P.S. Ummmm... 6.75 inches??? REALLY?! C'mon people - don't we all think that Edward is a packin' a little more punch than that??? I demand size options! And honestly, this is still going to leave SOME people lusting after a cold, sparkly vibrator. In the meantime, you might just want to discreetly chuck some glitter in the direction of DH's junk when he's not paying attention. But if you'd rather take matters into your own hands [pun absolutely intended], order your very own vampsicle HERE.

My vampire penis, that is...

Alle Bilder zum Schutz vor unserösen Abmahnern entfernt!

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