Seems over the past year, we've been having some really fucked up weather. I know it's normal for the southeast to have its hurricanes, for the midwest to have its tornadoes, for the northeast to have its blizzards and for hellish places like Texas to sometimes, well, feel the actual temperature of hell. But it seems to me that all these natural disasters have been hopped up on steroids lately and I don't like it one bit.

The northeast got hammered by snow this past winter -- I thought we would lose Jenny Jerkface in a snow bank at one point. Texas experienced something like 874 straight days of over 100° weather this past summer and I was pretty sure TK was going to go all fucking postal on some unsuspecting neighbors nearly every day. I don't even want to discuss that horrible string of tornadoes that stretched from Texas to Virginia last April. And just to kick us northerners in the nuts again, Mother Nature dropped 5-10" of snow on us before Halloween. Before fucking Halloween! Dude, WTF?

See those leaves still on the trees? That means it shouldn't be fucking snowing!
So this whole weather pattern got me to thinking... what the fuck has crawled up Mother Nature's vagina that has gotten her so blistering angry that she feels the need to release such a wrath on us? Is it because she hasn't gotten laid in a bazillion years? Who does MN go to get her needs met anyway? Do you think she even has a boyfriend? Father Time maybe? I bet that dude definitely needs Viagra.

JMFHF, this is what I got when I Googled "Mother Nature is Angry" -- I'm a skerred!
Or maybe the more sensical answer to why MN is being such a dirty twat lies in her taste in movies. I think she's a Twilight fan and since those assholes at Summit have made us wait an eternal 18 months between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn: BtS, she has decided to seek revenge on everyone. Way to go Summit... how does that make you feel? I suppose if I had the power (and wouldn't get arrested), I might throw the same type of tantrum (minus the unnecessary loss of life, of course.)

Hopefully once MN gets an eyeful of Edward Cullen's sweaty back breaking headboards, she'll just sit back with her freshly whittled dildo and enjoy the show. And leave us the fuck alone. I could use a nice mild winter. And Edward's sweaty back breaking my headboard. Please.

Now doesn't this just make everything better?

Alle Bilder zum Schutz vor unserösen Abmahnern entfernt!

Dieser Inhalt wurde mit Genehmigung der Seitenbetreiber von nachfolgender Quelle automatisch per RSS-Feed übernommen und stellt nicht die Meinung des Seitenbetreibers dar. Urheberrechtsbeschwerden bitte hier melden.