Edward reads minds. Alice sees the future. Jasper calms the masses. Jane cripples people with agonizing pain and a bushy-eyed stare. I'm seriously feeling pretty left out in the special abilities category. So I got to thinking...if I were an amazingly gorgeous, sparkly vampire, what would my special gift be? Not that I'm delusional enough to think I'll ever be a vampire -- even though I'm almost there with the pasty white skin -- but work with me here. This is my fantasy.
Yes, Jane. Even vampires should wax.
I'm not sure I could handle seeing the future -- that's just a little too much responsibility. Or reading peoples minds. Sometimes it's better not to know what people really think of you. (I'm looking at you, Anonymous commenters who think it's ok to insult my writing [ouch!]) I have to admit, I've always been insanely jealous of Harry Potter's invisibility cloak which is just the fucking bomb-digity. But it almost crosses the same line as reading minds. There may be some conversations I don't want to eavesdrop on.
What is it that I enjoy doing? Something that makes me happy, yet protects me from others. I think I would want to go the route of Jane. I would want a power so crippling that people would flee at the mere sight of me. A power that would render me immune to defeat. Or one that is just fun and makes it easier to add to my freezer collection.
I want to freeze people with a single touch.
And I'll need these slippers to complete my bad-ass vampire outfit!
They would stay frozen forever, even on the hottest day of the summer. Until I release them from their icy prison at least. But with great power comes great responsibility. Or so I hear. I would only freeze the bad guys -- you know, like Edward only killed the scum of the earth during his young vampire years? I'm not going to take advantage of my new power and go all willy-nilly with the freezing. Maybe the cops would even hire me to help capture criminals...
If you were a sparkly vampire, what special sparkly vampire power would you want?
Don't piss me off or I will blind you with my sparkles!
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