I've come to realize something in my 16 years with Mr. LKW... men are generally useless around the house for anything that doesn't involve fixing or building shit. If I need a window replaced or some shelves built, he's my man. If I need the dog bathed or help with the vacuuming, he's fucking useless.

I always notice this right around the time someone from HIS family is scheduled for a visit. And guess who's expected to make the house squeaky clean? Yup, me.

So the other day he says he's going to give the dogs baths before his dad comes for a visit over the holiday weekend. I said great, they're really dirty. Have fun with that. I'm thinking one less thing on my list and I can get some stuff done while he's scrubbing the hounds.

No such luck.

I have to sit in the bathroom with him JUST IN CASE he needs something. It's like living with a fucking 4 year old. What. The. Fuck? Why is it I seem to have no problem bathing the 75 pound hound all by myself, but he can't? Is it that he sees it as helping me clean, so I have to be involved?

And then guess who is left to clean up the bathroom and all its dog hair glory?

Clean-up is a major problem with the penis carrier in this house. If I'm gone for a few days, you can bet your ass that when I get home, every dish we own will be dirty and piled high in the sink. WE HAVE A DISHWASHER PEOPLE! How hard is it to put the dish in the dishwasher?

I'll tell you what, filling the dishwasher is a lot easier than building a fucking barn and he seemed to do that without a hitch.

I know there's a class that boys take early on in life that teaches how to do household chores wrong so no one ever asks them to do that chore again. Ever. And I'm also positive my husband has a PhD in this class. He probably even teaches it on the side. Actually, I think he invented it.

Calgon take me away! [This is my calgon...]

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