Last week I told a romantic tale of my two loves: Edward Cullen and zombies. This week it appears that zombie Edward has made his rounds and has infected the Twitarded quartet. I'm not sure how or when that little zombie bastard made his way into my house, and I definitely don't remember waking up with any bite marks anywhere. He's a sneaky one, that Zombieward. Let's just say, there's going to be hell to pay if anyone of us ends up pregnant with his creepy zombie baby.

So, tonight I was all set to basically bitch about the weather and how standing on a subway platform that smells like the baked inside of a homeless man's underpants really sucks but then Snarkier Than You sent me an email entitled STOP THE PRESSES!! and I watched it and had an orgasm so you get that instead.

The link that was in the email, I mean. Not my orgasm. Go get your own fucking orgasm.

I am f-loving that Jackson has a Twitter now - the boy's hilarious, on top of gorgeous!

So I was going to write something really clever but instead I spent the night putting together a bed that I bought at Ikea over the weekend and well, that shit sucks. Plus I am a little drinky, because if you don't have a couple of drinks while assembling Swedish furniture with names you can't pronounce, you'll be upset when you get done and you have a bunch of random pieces left over. Me? I'm not upset. And I have a few random unidentifiable bolts and things to add to my McGyver box.

Who the hell is Gus? You may be asking yourself.

Okay, Twitards -- it's almost time!! One day until Eclipse premieres!!

I just couldn't resist! The lovely and talented Biel hits another one out of the park! Her video skills just fucking floor me. And when I get the email from YouTube saying that she's posted another masterpiece, I'll admit, I squeeeeee... loudly!

You may remember a little post Jenny Jerkface wrote a while back titled "Billy Burke Rocks Out With His Cock Out" where she talked about the upcoming release of Billy's new single. She compared him to the Hoff... well, not really compared him to the Hoff per se, but really, really hoped that his career would not end up like the Hoff's - you know, actor-turned-musician cheesiness!

Laptop/access to internet? Check. Movie viewing device, whether it be TV, computer, or some other fancy schmancy thing? Check. DVD, Blu-Ray, VHS (do they make these anymore?) or illegally pirated version of New Moon? Check. Booze? Do I really need to ask this one?

Ha haha hahahahaha!! Hey! Wait a minute...

Ah yes, Memorial Day weekend. This weekend most Americans are probably hunched over paper plates, hoovering potato salad, hamburgers from the grill and all that other goodness that comes with outdoor eating and BBQ-ing into their gobs. Myself included, of course.